A Journey To Overcome Shyness

What is shyness? What it is like to be a shy person? A person who just is not interested in having a conversation? Or someone who just prefers their own company over other people? The textbook definition of ‘shy’ says ‘a person who is frightened to do something or to become involved in something. But how true is this? Let us dig a layer deeper into this topic.

Traveling back around 5 years in time, my school days, I used to get comments like ‘he is so shy’, ‘speak up man’, ‘why don’t you participate in class’. Remember those silly parent-teacher meetings? I used to hate them. Tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. ‘He remains quiet most of the time, he should speak up in classes’. That was the time I started wondering if it was really that bad to be a shy person? Am I doing something wrong? I, most of the time, preferred to be with my small group of friends. I never socially interacted with a lot of people in my school. That didn’t make me feel I was doing something wrong, but deep down I knew I had to change myself. That does not mean being an introvert or a shy person is a bad thing, no it definitely isn’t. But I knew society doesn’t really accept it. I had accepted the fact that to proceed in life; I had to speak up; I had to start taking up opportunities; be socially active around the people I know, as well as the people I don’t. My college life, the year 2021, was when I thought this is the time where I should start implementing the plan. The plan to change myself. The perfect time to experiment with this isn’t it? No one over here knows me, new people, new faces, and a totally new environment. I never knew if I would succeed, but there’s no harm in trying right? Well, there is. 

I started imaging myself transforming from the ‘silent first bencher kid’ in school to a ‘socially active person’ in college. Things didn’t quite go the right way though. The COVID-19 pandemic forced the first year of college to be conducted in online mode. Instead of the desks and chairs, we spent our day in front of laptop screens. The lunch breaks and proxy time were spent over online chats rather than in the campus environment. Zero physical interaction. The ‘introvert me’ would have loved this, but I had planned to change. I did make a lot of new friends in the first year, some very good ones indeed. I started wondering what went wrong in my school days. Nevertheless, I had succeeded in my plan to overcome shyness. Or did I? Yes I did open up a lot, but everything that happened, happened over the internet. Until and unless you don’t interact with someone physically, you don’t really know everything.

However, I explored a lot of new things in the first year which helped me in my journey to overcome shyness and change with time. 

1.      Escaping the Comfort Zone

I started actively participating in class, having conversations with new people, exploring various stuff around me which an ‘introvert me’ wouldn’t do.

2.      Active Participation 

I joined various college committees and worked as a team. Coordinated with a variety of people which helped me in improving my communication skills to a great extent.

3.      Professional Experience

I interned as a web developer at a start-up, which gave me exposure to the professional environment. I learned how things work outside the school/college life, how important is it to have great communication skills in a work environment and speak up when needed. 

These three things, or rather ‘experiments’ helped me grow in my journey, and learn a lot. I am a strong believer in this quote stated by the Greek philosopher, Heraclitus. ‘Change is the only constant’. In other words, normal is not normal! If you find yourself thinking of something you do as normal, you are already too late to start moving again. People who want to make a substantial transition must make room for change. Most people aren't great at adapting to new situations and this is where things might get problematic. Some are already exploring the unexpected and growing professionally and emotionally; while some wish to stay on to the familiar and comfortable.

To grow in life you have to learn from your past experiences and understand the necessity to adapt to the change. For me, the change was to overcome shyness. I won’t say that I have got a hundred percent success in my plan. Transformation doesn’t happen drastically, but I know that I have improved from what I was a few years back. Acceptance is a vital aspect of the growth of an individual. The final result doesn’t really matter in these cases. What matters is the fight. The truth is when you get an experience, reality kicks in. I strived to change myself for the sole purpose of being a better person. I don’t know whether being an extrovert adds to that, but being satisfied with just a little in life surely doesn’t. I would conclude by stating a quote I religiously follow: “If we don’t change, we don’t grow, and if we don’t grow, we aren’t really living”.